Do you tend to stay on a safe predictable path because you’re held back by an old story? This is the rut my client, Amanda, a talented professional at a large tech company had slipped into.
Amanda had been at her company for three years when her mentor suggested that she apply for a team leader position. She hesitated because the position required frequent presentations and she considered herself a poor public speaker.
Amanda’s belief stemmed from a college experience when she had frozen during a key class presentation, which resulted in a low grade for the course. She created a narrative that she didn’t have the skills to be an effective public speaker and, as a result, only sought out roles that didn’t require her to make presentations.
Although she acknowledged that this limiting belief had held her back from moving forward in her career, Amanda felt there was very little she could do about her “lack of talent” in this area.
Does Amanda’s viewpoint sound familiar?
Have you allowed a past setback or failure to keep you from stepping into your potential?
THE RUT OF A FIXED MINDSET
Amanda’s thinking is an example of a fixed mindset. According to Carol Dweck Ph.D. author of Mindset – The New Psychology of Success, fixed mindset people believe they’re born with a fixed number of gifts and talents which can’t be changed. They see themselves as either good at math or bad at math, great engineers or mediocre engineers, good public speakers, or poor speakers. Therefore, like Amanda, they interpret a setback, failure or difficulty learning something as a sign of their inability to master that particular skill and give up trying to learn it.
SHIFT TO A GROWTH MINDSET
As we worked together, Amanda learned to view her college experience through the lens of a growth mindset. According to Dr. Dweck, growth mindset people view setbacks or failures as part of the learning process rather than as an indication that they lack ability in a certain area. They believe that they’re capable of learning whatever they set an intention to learn and see learning challenges as making them smarter.
Once Amanda shifted to a growth mindset, she was able to release the old story and believe that she could improve her speaking skills.
Here’s a simple strategy to help you release any stale narratives that could be holding you back:
POWER TOOL – KEEP THE LESSON AND DISCARD THE EXPERIENCE
- Recall a setback, failure, or other negative experience that’s been holding you back.
- Journal about the experience and record the event like a reporter in the third person. Record all emotions you felt.
- Shift to a growth perspective. Look honestly at your role in this setback but understand that this does not define or label you. What could you have done differently? Could you have sought out resources to assist you? What lessons did you learn?
- Now that you’ve internalized the lessons, throw the experience away by destroying or discarding the paper on which you recorded it. Notice how much lighter you feel without that memory weighing you down!
A GROWTH MINDSET EMBRACES LEARNING
To improve her speaking skills, Amanda enrolled in Toastmasters and challenged herself to speak up at weekly office meetings.
As Amanda improved her communication skills, her confidence increased, and she began to stretch herself in other areas. Shortly afterwards, she applied for and was selected for a team leader position and is continuing to move up in her career.
A GROWTH MINDSET UNLOCKS YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
Cultivating a growth mindset is the master key to unlocking your self-confidence. Once you believe that you can increase your intelligence and abilities and release old stories that might be holding you back, you’ll be more willing to put yourself out there and grow into your potential.
“True self-confidence is “the courage to be open – to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source.” Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow.” – Carol Dweck Ph.D.
