Do either of these situations sound familiar?
Natalie had worked as a data engineer at a large high-tech company for the last
seven years. She was rated an excellent performer and had received several
promotions.
A year ago, she was reassigned to work for a manager who was difficult to work
with. Since she wanted to stay at her company, she sought a transfer to another
division. However, because her manager refused to support her transfer, Natalie
felt trapped in a job she no longer enjoyed.
A Frustrating Rut
Renee felt she was in a rut. She had been a middle school math teacher for over
fifteen years and juggled her career with two middle school aged children.
Five years ago, when her husband launched his consulting business, they had
agreed that she’d remain in her teaching position for the stable income and
benefits while he built his business.
Renee had been looking forward to leaving teaching so she could devote herself
to her passion – composing and performing folk music. However, since her
husband’s business hadn’t grown as quickly as they had hoped, she was unable to
leave her job when she originally planned. She confided “I’m frustrated that I
can’t work on my music because my job and family obligations consume all my
time and energy.”
At some time or other, many of us have felt we were stuck in a rut with no way
out.
The good news is that resetting your thinking – as these women learned to do – can
help you discover creative ways to get unstuck.
Reframe Out of Stuck
Natalie adopted a new perspective on her work situation by reframing it in the
following way: “Since my manager won’t support my transfer, I’m going to seek
support for a move to a new division from leaders outside of my division.” This
reframe helped her shift from feeling victimized to taking control of her future.
She reached out to people in other divisions to learn more about their work and
how she could assist them. She cultivated mentors and allies and volunteered to
work on projects that involved collaboration with other teams.
As Natalie expanded her visibility outside her division, her confidence increased
as others recognized her excellent work. Within eight months, she was able to
transfer to a division with a more positive work environment.
Shift to Possibility Thinking
In Renee’s case, stating her problem as “I can’t work on my music because my
family and professional obligations consume all of my time and energy” closed
her mind to any other options.
When she shifted to possibility thinking and began to view her situation with
genuine curiosity, she transformed her “I can’t” statement into a “How could I?”
question.
Once Renee asked, “How could I find time to compose and perform music while
working full-time and caring for my family?” she was able to brainstorm
numerous possibilities. These included shifting to a four-day work week, having
her husband take over childcare on weekends, and devoting more time during
summer vacation to her music while the children were away at camp.
Releasing Erroneous Assumptions
Possibility thinking also involved shedding some mistaken assumptions. Renee
had assumed that her husband would be reluctant to take over childcare one
weekend a month. However, when they discussed this possibility, she was
delighted to discover that he was looking forward to spending more time with
their kids.
They worked out an arrangement where she would have one weekend a month
to devote to her music as well as two weeks during the summer to attend music
festivals or workshops. This allowed her to reconnect with her passion while she
continued to work full-time.
From “I can’t” to “How could I?”
Both these women were able to move from “stuck” to empowered by reframing
from feeling stuck in an “impossible situation” to seeing their problem as
actionable.
This encouraged them to think creatively about “what’s possible now?” and get
unstuck.
How about you?
Where do you feel stuck in your work or life?
Try shifting from thinking “I can’t” to “How Could I…” and see what new
possibilities appear!
Possibility Thinking takes you beyond dead-ends by reminding you that anything
– John Maxwell
is possible—that there are more solutions, options, and avenues available to
you than you’ve allowed yourself to see, which means momentum is available to
you if you’ll just choose it.
