Do you feel that you’re on automatic pilot as you jump from task to task throughout your day?
Are you often overwhelmed by your obligations and commitments?
That was how Corinne – a financial analyst – described her life.
Corinne had always prided herself on her ability to juggle a demanding job with family time and her volunteer commitments.
However, when she returned from maternity leave after the birth of her second child, she found herself stressed and overwhelmed by her crowded schedule.
She felt guilty when work or volunteer commitments intruded into evenings and weekends with her family.
She was stressed and frustrated that her many obligations left her little time for dates with her husband, catching up with friends or self-care.
Yet, when she was with family or friends, she found herself worrying about work.
Wake Up to What Matters
How about you? Do you feel like you’re sleepwalking through life checking each task off your “to do” list as you race through your day?
The first step to getting off this treadmill is clarifying your life values which I define as everything that’s non-negotiable for you to feel you’re living a happy, fulfilling life.
Your list can include family, relationships, spirituality, well-being, financial security, creativity, or giving back to the community.
Next, identify your top five life values, and prioritize them. Since priorities can change with life events like the birth of a child, career disruption or divorce, revisit your values at least once a year or anytime there’s a big change in your life circumstances.
Does Your Life Reflect Your Top Priorities?
To get a clear picture of how you’re spending your time, spend two weeks tracking how you’re spending the time you’re not working at your job.
How much time are you devoting to high priority activities?
What’s missing from your schedule?
How much time do you spend in activities that don’t engage, energize or relax you, such as mindlessly scrolling through social media?
What Can You Release?
One of the biggest causes of overwhelm is when our priorities change, and we add new commitments to our already full plates without subtracting those that are now lower priority.
What activities have you outgrown that you’re continuing to do out of habit or a sense of obligation?
Elissa Eppel, Ph.D. in her book, The Stress Prescription, offers several questions to ask, when deciding what to release:
- In the long run, how much does this activity really matter?
- Who says that this is required and is that really true?
- What would happen if you released or delegated this commitment?
- Is there a way you can gradually step back from this obligation?
- What’s the worst-case scenario if you release this and can you live with that?
When Corinne tracked how she spent her time, she was shocked to discover how many hours per month she spent on board work for a local non-profit and a professional organization. She had assumed these obligations before she had children and was still trying to cram them into her schedule.
When she released these outdated commitments, she freed up 20 hours per month that she was able to devote to more important priorities.
To make room in your life for what truly matters, you must become intentional about shedding the activities, commitments and even relationships that no longer align with your top priorities.
This involves waking up to what matters to you at this time in your life and having the courage to release what’s no longer a top priority.
The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities
– Steven Covey
