Do either of these two scenarios sound familiar?
Marisa had been promoted to a management position after a company re-organization. Although initially delighted by the promotion, she quickly realized that her new role required leadership skills that she had not yet mastered. As she compared herself with other more experienced managers, she began to feel like a fraud and worried that she’d eventually be unmasked as incompetent and eased out of her position.
As the first college graduate in his family, Sid had always been proud of his achievements, which included excelling academically and landing a job at a prominent consulting firm. As Sid got to know his colleagues, who had attended more prestigious schools, he questioned whether he was smart enough to succeed in this extremely competitive environment. Because he feared being exposed as an imposter, he kept a low profile, rarely asking for help on his projects, which resulted in him working long hours, negatively impacting his health and his relationships.
If you related to either Marisa or Sid, you’re not alone. According to imposter syndrome expert, Dr. Valerie Young, 70% of people – including many high achievers – have experienced episodes of imposter syndrome. It affects both women and men, although it’s more prevalent among women. People working in medical, info tech and academic environments, as well as those in creative fields, are more likely to experience it.
Dr. Young suggests that the way out of the imposter trap is to stop thinking like an imposter!
Stop Thinking Like an Imposter
People with imposter syndrome set unrealistic performance standards for themselves that are rarely achievable and sustainable. Escaping the imposter trap requires that they shift their definition of competence.
In her book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Dr. Young discusses five distorted views of competence associated with imposter syndrome – the perfectionist, the natural genius, the rugged individualist, the expert and the superwoman.
Marisa viewed competence through the lens of the natural genius, thinking that, because she had to work to acquire leadership skills, she didn’t have the aptitude to grow into a good leader. After she adopted a growth mindset, she viewed her leadership challenges as opportunities to grow and learn. She changed her self-talk from chattering about “how she had no idea what she was doing” to reminding herself that she was capable of growing into this new role. She studied leadership and also reached out to more seasoned managers for advice and mentoring.
Sid had to release his rugged individualist belief that he should know how to do everything himself and shouldn’t need help to complete a project. He shifted to accepting that true competence means knowing how to identify and request the resources needed to complete a project. Once he learned how to ask for what he needed, he was able to work smarter and build good working relationships with his colleagues.
By adopting realistic measures of competence, both Marisa and Sid were able to free themselves from the trap of imposter syndrome.
How about you? Do you hold yourself to unreasonable performance standards that make you feel inadequate?
If so, it may be time to create some more realistic performance standards for yourself to keep from falling into the imposter syndrome trap.
Own Your Achievements
People with imposter syndrome often feel that they don’t deserve their success and tend to attribute their accomplishments to external factors such as luck, timing, or connections. As a result, they minimize their accomplishments and don’t celebrate their wins.
Because they’ve never internalized their accomplishments, they doubt their ability to repeat past successes and feel pressured to perform to that high standard all the time. Each new project causes them to agonize over whether they’ll be able to live up to their reputation.
The first step in internalizing your achievements is to recall them.
POWER TOOL – Create Your Achievement Inventory
Review the last ten years of your life and write down everything you’ve achieved in your professional and personal life. Include degrees, awards, certificates earned, good performance reviews, and recognition from colleagues, managers and clients. List personal accomplishments such as community recognition, sports or artistic achievements and overcoming personal challenges.
When I ask my clients to complete this inventory, many are amazed at the number of accomplishments they had barely acknowledged in their rush to move on to the next project.
Celebrate Your Accomplishments
Now that you’ve internalized your past accomplishments, set an intention to celebrate your achievements. Create a file of your professional accomplishments that includes degrees, good evaluations, awards, certifications, and recognition from management and clients.
Don’t forget to recognize your personal accomplishments! Use a Celebration Journal to log your personal successes – new skills and abilities, personal challenges that you overcame, experiences that helped you grow, community contributions and health breakthroughs.
Finally, take time to celebrate your accomplishments – whether it’s taking a moment to savor a success, celebrating with others, or doing something special for yourself.
You’re Not Alone
Setting realistic performance standards and owning your accomplishments are two big steps you can take right now to release imposter syndrome. Like Marisa and Sid, you’ll be less anxious, your confidence will grow, and you’ll work smarter, not harder.
And remember – when you have those imposter moments – you’re not alone. Some of the most accomplished people in the world have experienced and overcome imposter syndrome.
“I have spent my years since Princeton, while at law school and in my various professional jobs, not feeling completely a part of the worlds I inhabit. I am always looking over my shoulder wondering if I measure up.” Sonia Sotomayor, First Hispanic Supreme Court Justice
